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andrea ([personal profile] banquo) wrote2008-05-30 03:59 am

Stardust in a Jar (3/?)

Title: Stardust in a Jar
Category: Stargirl
Rated: [ PG ] general.
Characters: Varies per chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli.
Summary: [ story collection ] “Star people are rare. You’ll be lucky to meet another.”
Versions: here @ fanfiction.NET
Index: 1 | 2 | 3






stardust in a jar

III. THE THREE PEBBLE TYPE



“How close to empty did the wagon ever get?” I said.

“Oh…” She turned her face to the ceiling, closed her eyes. “Once, down to three.”

I was shocked. “Really? You?”

She stared. “Why not me?”

“You don’t seem the type.”

“What type is that?”




February thirteenth.

Stargirl went to the studio. She toured the rooms where productions took place. She met with a few of the staff, taking Cinnamon out so that the rat could “shake paws” with the people on crew. She peered through the lens of a camera that wasn’t even on, waving hi to nobody. She leapt up on the stage in glee, smiling as the lights were turning on.

And that’s when she turned to the control room.

She saw him there, that boy she had sung to in the lunchroom during Hillari’s birthday. She grinned, but she knew he was most likely working on other things. But still she stood there, in the spotlight, wondering if he would wave hi to her. Wondering if he would thank her for the birthday song that was not meant for him.

But then the doors burst open and she moved away from the spotlight so that the other people could take their seats. She saw the boy, Kevin, setting up his own seat from across another one that was painted with black, red, orange, and yellow paint. She watched as the jury took their seats, turning away from their skeptical looks at her.

They were ready to begin.

But still Stargirl turned back to look up at the control room and she took Cinnamon out again.

“Hi, Leo.”

It was meant to be a joke. She laughed as she watched the boy stand there with a blank look on his face.

“Hi Cinnamon,” he mouthed.

She felt her heart flutter for a mere moment before being distracted by one of the camera crew.

They were starting.



Stargirl pulled off more antics during the show.

She pretended she was on a flaming seat.

She let Cinnamon loose to see what would happen.

She told them of her past names.

But sometimes her eye would wander to the control room. She wanted to see him mouth something to her again. She smiled as he laughed. She wondered what name would get the funniest reaction out of him. She answered the questions the jury had, with a grin on her face. She noticed the looks they were giving her, but a smile was contagious.

She felt glad, knowing that the boy in the control room was watching. The stares the jury gave didn’t matter anymore. She felt herself let go to everything like always, and then be enveloped in the spotlight and the imaginary flames painted upon her seat. She felt comfortable.

And then everything changed.



“Do you love your country?”

She had paused at that question. “I’m sorry?”

“I said, do you love your country?”

That’s what he had said. Stargirl smiled. “Yes,” she said. “Do you love yours?”

“Why don’t you say the Pledge of Allegiance right?”

“Sounds right to me.”

“Sounds like you’re a traitor to me.”

That was it. That was it. The moment she began to feel like the spotlight upon her was dimming.

“You’re not just a cheerleader, you dumb cluck, you’re supposed to be our cheerleader. A Mica cheerleader.”

“Okay, here’s a question. Why did you quit homeschooling?”


“I wanted to make friends.”

“Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it, making the whole school mad at you.”

“And out of school, too. You meddle into everybody’s business. You stick your nose in, whether you’re invited or not. Why do you do that?”


She had wanted to reply, but her throat was stuck.

“I’m gonna tell you something, girl. You’re goofy. You’re crazy.”

She had wanted to ask what crazy meant.

“You must’ve come from Mars or something…”

She had wanted to ask if she looked like she did.

“Why don’t you go back to where you came from?”

“You wanna cheer for other schools? Fine! Go there! Don’t come to my school! Get outta my school!”

“I know what your problem is. All this weird stuff you do? It’s just to get attention.”
“It’s to get a boyfriend!”
“I’ve got a simple question for you. What’s the matter with you? Huh? Huh?”
“Why can’t you be normal?”
“Why do you wanna be so different?”
“Yeah – is something wrong with us, you gotta be so different?”

“You don’t like us, do you?
Do you?”

She had wanted to ask them many things.

But she stared into the camera lens instead, wondering if he was watching.

Are you mad at me?
Am I too nosy?
Do I look like I’m from Mars?
Is there something wrong with me?
Is there something wrong with different?
Do you like me?

She had wanted to ask him those questions.

“That’s it. Show’s over.”

The spotlight she had once been in was now closed.

She heard many voices but her ears couldn’t perceive their words.

She wondered where the boy was. She wondered if he would answer her questions for her.

Do you like me?



Stargirl had sat there for a long time.

The studio was dark.

Nobody bothered to come near her.

But that was okay.

She felt hollow, dug out. She was afraid of going out for the first time. But still she stood and her shadow escorted her out of the studio. She saw the boy by the maple tree that stood outside of the studio, but he began to run away in the opposite direction of her house once he saw her come out.

She felt her heart move faster. She felt time being restored back.

She turned and began to walk home.

Once she had arrived, it was already late. Her parents had been worried, and she smiled at them as always. She brushed the few candy hearts she had bought at the convenient store two blocks away and began to put them in a plastic bag to carry into school tomorrow.

Because, despite everything, everybody needs a little love.

Yes. That is what they need.

But even though she thought that, when she returned to her room, the happy wagon was the first thing she spotted.

“You’re not just a cheerleader, you dumb cluck, you’re supposed to be our cheerleader. A Mica cheerleader.”
“Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it, making the whole school mad at you.”
“And out of school, too. You meddle into everybody’s business. You stick your nose in, whether you’re invited or not. Why do you do that?”
“I’m gonna tell you something, girl. You’re goofy. You’re crazy.”
“Why don’t you go back to where you came from?”
“You wanna cheer for other schools? Fine! Go there! Don’t come to my school! Get outta my school!”
“I know what your problem is. All this weird stuff you do? It’s just to get attention.”
“It’s to get a boyfriend!”
“I’ve got a simple question for you. What’s the matter with you? Huh? Huh?”
“Why can’t you be normal?”
“Why do you wanna be so different?”
“Yeah – is something wrong with us, you gotta be so different?”

“You don’t like us, do you?
Do you?”

Slowly, she took out nine pebbles and placed them to the side.

She had stared at its contents for a long time.

Three was such a lonely number.



Valentine’s Day.

The three pebbles lay miserably inside the wagon for a long time.

Stargirl fumbled with a homemade card she had made months ago… The first time she had saw him. At first she had wanted to leave it anonymous just like all of the gifts she had given out. She wondered if the card she was giving was a gift that she should not receive credit for. She had begun to white out her name written on the back before stopping herself at the last minute.

She wanted him to know.

At school she slipped it inside one of his notebooks.

Days past.

The three pebbles stayed where they were.



“Hi Leo.”

Those were the words she had said to him one day. She wanted to know if he got the card or not. She wanted to know because maybe he could help her answer the questions she had. But he had got up hastily and reached the lunch room doors before she was able to ask him the question, “Did you get it?” properly.

So she stuck with a greeting instead.

But she wondered if he had heard her as he pushed open the doors and went out.

She would’ve planned to ask him if she had not seen the color of his face.

And then Stargirl smiled.



He did not walk up to her, did not say anything until she had walked up to his table again during lunch.

She put on a smile on in his presence. “You’re welcome,” was what she had said.

She remembered how he turned around after moments of silence. But she was willing to wait.

“Thanks for the card.”

She had felt her heart soar that day and when she got home, the three pebbles were gone from view as the wagon was filled with eleven more that came in a rush. She had wanted to dump all of the pebbles inside, but she stopped herself at the last minute. To be completely happy was… her thought ended there, but she did not put seventeen in.

Fourteen.

That was the highest she ever had.



February fourteenth.

Valentine’s Day.



Because, despite everything, everybody needs a little love.






Index: 1 | 2 | 3 - The Three Pebble Type



A/N. Another story that is a bit longer than the rest. I didn’t really know how to say Stargirl’s thoughts exactly, since she’s so out of the ordinary (in a good sense).

She was a little hurt inside, but she can forgive and overcome it easily. These were some characteristics I wanted to use. - laughs - Ah well. I think it came out all right, but it wasn't the idea I started out with in the beginning.


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